The last few weeks have been tough. Really tough.
Not just because the UK has gone into lockdown (although that hasn’t been easy), but because of how easy it has been for me to slip into old, unhealthy habits.
Before this awful pandemic took over our lives, I had finally got to a place in my life where I could say I was doing OK.
Now, OK might not sound like much. Surely I want to be better than OK?
But for me, being OK meant that I had reached a constant after years of uncertainty; I had good days and I had bad days, but, generally, I was doing OK.
Notice the past tense?
It’s difficult – really, really difficult – to feel OK right now. There is so much uncertainty throughout the UK, and among the rest of the world. Everyday I watch the news and see the numbers rise: how much longer do we have to live like this?
I’ve found myself slipping into old, unhealthy habits. Things I used to do when I was battling the worst of my anxiety and depression.
I sleep. A lot. I sleep at weird times, during ‘sociable’ hours. I sleep the day away, because I have nothing else to do.
I rarely get dressed. I’m not going anywhere, so what’s the point?
I don’t leave the house. Now I know we aren’t supposed to leave the house, but in the UK we are allowed to leave the house for exercise as long as we adhere to the rules of social distancing. But, more than that, I haven’t left the house at all, not even to sit on the front step.
Now, obviously, it is OK to be struggling during times of such uncertainty, but I really don’t want to go back to that place.
So I’m going to try.
I’m going to try and sleep at a regular hour, even though just typing this is making me want a nap. I’m going to get dressed, even though I don’t see the point. I’m going to get some fresh air, even if it’s just from sitting in the front garden.
How are you all coping with the current situation?